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Erasing Regrets

In just a couple of days we’ll be ushering in 2015. For me each year seems to start out slow, but by September I begin to wonder where it went. And as the last few days approach many of us start to look at setting goals and making resolutions.

But what do we do with the year we’re leaving behind?

Do you find yourself ending the year with regrets? If we’re honest I think most of us do. They may not be huge disappointments, maybe something we have been trying to overcome for a while that we feel we made no progress on again this year. Or that little thing that nags at us and won’t seem to let go.

Starting a new year positively is much easier when we erase regrets, make things right inside and out, and allow ourselves to move on to a fresh new adventure.

erasing regrets

Here are some thoughts on letting go and leaving the negatives of 2014 behind:

1. Be Truthful With Yourself
Sometimes I lie to myself about something that is nagging at me. I want to have put it behind me or not let it bother me but truthfully I’m hanging onto it. Once I admit that I’m having a hard time letting go I can begin steps to truly do so.

2. Write It Down
Writing down regrets makes them concrete. It makes them real. Whether it’s a word or two or multiple pages of thoughts and feelings, putting regrets in writing helps to let go of them. And once you’ve made the decision to let go you can rip up the paper as a symbolic gesture of ridding your life of that weight.

3. Pray About It
Is there a reason you are hanging onto this particular regret? What does God have to say about it? Ask Him to show you if there is something you need to do for proper closure. Have you forgiven or asked for forgiveness? Have you done your best to make retribution where necessary? Remember what God says in about holding on to regret:

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.    Romans 8:1-2 ESV

While God desires us to admit our sins and sometimes disciplines us, after that He’s done.

12 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
Psalm 103: 11-13 ESV

If God is telling you that you’ve done all you need to do and it’s time to move forward, do so. If he removes our sins and forgets them, why shouldn’t we? Ask for His help in letting go.

4. Stop Thinking About It
It might sound over-simplified but once we’ve determined we need to move on from a past mistake or unmet goal we are hanging onto it all comes down to choice. We choose to continue to dwell on it or not. When something God has told us to let go of comes to mind we need to shut down that thought. Choose to think about something else. Consider Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

4. Ask For Help If Needed
There are times we need an accountability partner to remind us of our decision and ask us about our progress in areas we are struggling. If you are having trouble letting go on your own find a trusted friend or professional to keep tabs on how you are doing. Often for me just knowing someone is going to ask me about a particular struggle helps me to move forward and make progress.

As the new year approaches, take some time to consider the past year. Remember what is valuable and let go of what is not. The process may take some time but there’s no better time to get started. As we ring in 2015 we can hopefully echo these words of Paul:

13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14 ESV

Blessings and peace to you as you turn the calendar, leaving regrets behind.
Paula

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Christmas Regrets

Another Christmas is over. It was such a wonderful day for me as family gathered and we shared some precious time over good food, gracious gifts and making great memories.

DSC04732

…but I have some regrets.

There were other special times throughout the Christmas season. I published my first book! I gave to charities and children. I created a gingerbread carnival and gingerbread houses for giants (giant gingerbread people that is…) I sewed and scrapbooked gifts for my family. I laughed with friends at Christmas parties and cried over memories of my dad as we celebrated our fifth Christmas without him.

me & dad

…still I have some regrets.

Christmas Eve was celebrated with both my mom and sister for the first time in several years, and we joined a very special uncle and cousins to welcome the Christ Child at my childhood church.

candlelight

…and yet I have regrets.

1. I regret that I didn’t start earlier. I don’t mean with the sewing and creating (although I was sewing pajamas until 10:30pm Christmas Eve) or with the parties and wrapping.

I regret that I didn’t start sooner with the giving.

Christmas is a time when we think about others who are in need and as a society we tend to give generously. But what about in February when we’re snuggled in our beds yet our streets are filled with those without a home trying to stay warm? Or in August when we’re trying the latest fried-food specialty at the State Fair but haven’t given a donation to the food pantry in months? Why don’t I give all year-long?

2. I regret that I don’t make more of an effort to spend time with my nephews and let them know how proud I am of the young men they are becoming.

And what about others in my life who are important to me?

Do they know how much I care? I used to write fun letters and send goofy greeting cards ‘just because’. When was the last time I wrote a note or did some random act of kindness for someone special to me?

3. I regret that I don’t savor time with my Savior the rest of the year as I do at Christmas. There’s something about the lights on the Christmas tree and the sense of wonder all around that makes me feel closer to the Lord and treasure His gift of Jesus more than the rest of the year.

I want to capture that feeling and experience it all through the year.

These regrets stir me to action. I’ve mentioned before that I am a planner. As I look towards my plans for the coming New Year I am going to ‘task’ myself with planning ways to eliminate these regrets for next year. I will share some of these plans with you over the next couple of weeks.

I pray that you had a wonderful Christmas filled with love and precious memories. What was your favorite part? Any regrets? Please share your thoughts with us here.

I am so thankful for a season that reminds us of the preciousness of our family and friends and the wonderful gift of Jesus. And I’m thankful for all of you stopping by.

blessings and peace to you…
Paula