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Habits Are Hard

Happy 2014 no verse

It’s the time of year for resolutions. As 2014 dawns do you find yourself resolving to change things in this brand new year? I’ve been thinking about resolutions and how they are closely related to our habits. We resolve to lose weight, save more money, be kinder to those around us…there are so many common resolutions.

So we begin the year with good intentions and dive head-first into all the things we feel we need to change.

And then most of us fall on our faces a few weeks later.

fall face

But WHY?

Because our resolutions are directly related to our habits. And habits are hard.

Old/Bad habits are hard to break

New/Better habits are hard to make.

It’s really not as easy as writing something down on paper and declaring you will do it. It is said that it takes 21 days to make a habit and 21 days to break a habit. Intention and practice are required just like when we learn a new skill or hobby. Most of us could not pick up knitting needles and make a scarf in a couple of hours but experienced knitters can. Without winning the lottery or receiving a big inheritance people must work at building up a savings account. It comes by practicing restraint and saying “no” when we’d like to say yes more often.

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.  Isaiah 43:18-19

The good news is we can change. We just need to remember to crawl before we walk, and walk before we run. Setting the right goals are important and we’ll discuss that in the next post. But if you’re anxious to get started on a few you’ve already set remember these tips:

  • Ease into something new. If you don’t exercise regularly don’t attempt to get up every morning and work out for an hour. Start with 3 or 4 days of exercise and when you’ve conquered that add another day or two.
  • When/if you mess up just pick up where you left off. Don’t throw in the towel in February because you haven’t done as well as you hoped. Looking back to see SOME progress is better than no progress at all because you gave up partway through.
  • Find someone to cheer you on. You don’t have to broadcast your goals/desires/resolutions for everyone if you don’t want to, but having someone to cheer you on and keep you on track can be essential for success. We should all have a cheerleader as well as a drill sergeant and a shoulder to cry on.

Happy New Year to you all! I pray this year holds more blessings than you can count.

Are you making resolutions this year? If so, will you share them with us?

In my next post we’ll look at setting goals and planning for the year ahead.

blessings and peace to you!
Paula

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Do You Believe BIG??

2013 will come to a close in a few days and a new year will dawn. Many of us take this time of the year to start fresh, putting behind the disappointments of this year to look forward at possibilities ahead. We set goals and make resolutions, hoping to get all we can out of the new year.

How are you at looking ahead with confidence, believing God wants to use you in mighty ways this coming year? Do you go at it full-steam ahead, excited about possibilities or does the fear of the unknown hold you back from believing that you can be someone out of the ordinary?

set your imagination free

By out of the ordinary I don’t necessarily mean famous by the world’s standards. It is possible God has that in store for you, but more importantly God wants each of us to live out of the box we have put ourselves in or that the world has fashioned around us.

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  Jeremiah 29:11-12

Sometimes we get so comfortable where we are at that we fear looking at the possibilities of the future because we don’t know who we will be once we get there. And as Christians we sometimes add to the challenge because we are so focused on being humble and recognizing others that we forget that God intends for us to have a healthy confidence in ourselves as well.

Everything we do…every goal we set and every plan we make should be measured against what God is saying to us through His scripture and time spent with Him in prayer. God may also send messages through others, encouraging us to seek Him for confirmation and details on His plans.

If these goals and plans seem too big for us…GOOD!!  If we can handle them on our own we don’t need the Lord, and we will not give Him the glory. At the same time, if we don’t believe in ourselves and the ability of the Holy Spirit within us, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of us.

In these last few days of 2013 I encourage you to dream big…and allow God to give you big dreams. Then ask Him to show you how to turn those dreams into goals and get started. We’ll talk more about how in the days ahead.

You can do ANYTHING when the power of God is within you. Believe in yourself the way He does, and see what He can do through you.

blessings and peace…
Paula

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It’s Over…But Are We Done?

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Here we are at the day after Christmas. I hope your season was filled with laughter and precious memory-making time with family and friends. Some continue to celebrate over the next few days, for others the tree will come down, decorations will get packed away and gifts will be returned. Maybe you will join the rush to after-Christmas sales to round out what you didn’t get from your list, or maybe to begin shopping for next year. Perhaps you, like me, return to work and the regular routine.

In my part of the country winter is upon us and will settle in to stay for a few months now. It’s easier to enjoy at Christmastime when the snow seems to add to the magical feel, but now the shoveling becomes tiresome and driving on slippery roads a chore. It’s the time of year when what I call hibernation mode sets in. I don’t want to go out at all, and when I do I tend to get done what I’m out for and return to my warm home and a cup of something hot.

The danger with returning to our routines and entering the hibernation mode of winter is forgetting what we’ve just spent a month or more practicing and encouraging others to do. At the beginning of December I issued a Christmas Kindness Challenge. It helped us to be conscious of others and reaching outside ourselves to reach them, even in a small way.

As I sit here this morning I ask myself, “now what?”

Will I pack away kindness with the tree and wreaths? Will I throw out thoughts of others as I toss the paper and ribbons? I hope not.
I am reminded of what Jesus told the crowds and His disciples during His sermon on the mount.

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40

and later on…

‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ Matthew 25:45

The red kettles will be put away, the toy drives have ended, and the Christmas dinners for the homeless have been served. But there are still homeless people, hungry people, and those who are alone and lonely. There are still neighbors who can’t get to the store because they don’t drive in the snow, and children who will go to school without warm mittens, coat or boots.

Needs don’t end when the gifts have been unwrapped. And we shouldn’t stop looking.

As we move into the new year and set goals or make resolutions let’s resolve to be kinder in January, February, March…you get the idea. Look for needs, and meet them as we are able. If we can’t meet them ourselves perhaps we can enlist others.

heart mittens

In simple be aware.

Let’s not be done with the Christmas ‘spirit’ just because Christmas is over.

Blessings and peace to you on this day after Christmas!
Paula

 

 

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Christmas Memories

As I sit in the stillness of the morning sipping my coffee with only the light of the Christmas tree my mind is flooded with memories. Each ornament on the tree holds a memory, some of places we’ve been and others of people special to us. There are replicas of childhood toys, precious ornament from Mom’s family, and a special ornament to honor my dad.

ornaments

It is often said that Christmas is for children, and for most of us Christmas absolutely brings out the child in us. How many of us turn on Christmas specials like A Charlie Brown Christmas, How The Grinch Stole Christmas or Rudolph and Frosty whether or not there are children in our homes?

I am blessed with so many childhood memories at Christmas. Some were not particularly fun at the time…the year we had to wait upstairs with Mom until 9 or 10 am because Dad had to dig everyone out from the Christmas Eve snowstorm (we walked to Grandma & Grandpa’s that year as he never did plow our driveway) but now they are fun memories.

One of my favorite Christmas memories is making Christmas cookies with Grandma and Grandpa. I can still take myself back to that farm kitchen, pressing out the spritz cookies, drizzling the icing and sprinkling the non pareils (I wonder if Grandma was finding them on the floor until Easter!) The house would fill with wonderful smells, and you could be sure Dad and Uncle Kenneth would stop in at some point to check our creations.

Christmas Cookie Kids

Christmas memories can also be bittersweet as we celebrate without those precious to us. Some are miles away, unable to get ‘home’ for Christmas, while others we won’t celebrate with again until we see them in Heaven. It can be difficult to get through some of the happy memories when they are tied to those we miss so much, especially if we’re without them for the first time.

As Christmas creeps ever closer, please consider those your life touches that may be having a tough time with Christmas memories and don’t leave them out of your holiday. Take some extra time to visit them, or invite them to participate in your activities. While we can’t take away the sadness we can perhaps help make new memories that will bring joy in the midst of the sadness.

What are your favorite Christmas memories? I hope your Christmas season brings more joy than sadness and each year brings new happy memories to carry with you through the years.

blessings & peace to you!
Paula

This post is part of the Unwrap Your Memories Campaign for Destiny USA. Check them out here: destinyusa.com

PS –  Have you joined the Christmas Kindness Challenge yet? Details are here: http://wp.me/p1ARIh-e3

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Christmas Kindness Challenge

The Christmas season is here!

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Lights and decorations are going up on homes and businesses. Cities and towns are festively decked as trees are lit and lightposts adorned. Here in Central New York snow blankets the ground. For most it is a time of wonder and anticipation. There is a magic in the air as people seem more willing to believe in the goodness of others and the possibility of miracles.

Unfortunately for some the excitement and anticipation is laced with sadness. They may be dreading the coming days. In retail shops this season brings longer hours and less time for family. Some are alone or struggling to make ends meet and Christmastime reminds them of their solitude and what they are lacking. Celebrations are sometimes laced with sadness and regret.

In our merriment and preparations it can be easy to look inside, focus on our little circle of family and friends and overlook others.

So this year I’m issuing a Christmas Kindness Challenge to myself and anyone else who will accept.

Every day from now until Christmas I will post a challenge on my author Facebook page. (you can “like” it here: https://www.facebook.com/pauladavispeace ) Most of the challenges require little or no money, but help us to think of others differently perhaps. Here’s the first challenge:

CKC Day 1

This is the time of year we celebrate the gift God gave us when His son Jesus came to earth to take away our sins and create a way for us to join Him in Heaven some day. We can give the gift of kindness to a friend or even a stranger each day.

Join me, won’t you?

Feel free to share this with others as well. Let’s make kindness contagious this Christmas!

Blessings and peace…
Paula

 

 

 

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Grateful

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Today we paused to give thanks for all we have, for all we’ve been spared, for blessings that abound.

At my house the turkey is now leftovers and we are all stuffed. Our family has gone on home…only the memories remain of treasured time together. Now we will move on from Thanksgiving.

As I settle into the quietness I am reflective.

I am grateful…

I am blessed.

And I wonder…

As we move on from Thanksgiving will we also move on from being thankful?

Give-Thanks

Will our days become filled with wants and must-haves as we put up our trees and lights, filling our homes with gifts and treats?

Please don’t misunderstand. I love Christmas and so much that comes with that precious season. I love the time to focus on the gift of Christ coming to earth as a baby. I love the sense of magic in the air as people seem a little kinder and willing to believe that the would can be good.

But I still want Thanksgiving to live on every day.

I want to live a life of gratefulness. To focus on the good…the blessings…every little thing.

I want to look at the world through a gratitude filter, finding good all around me, and bringing good to others.

Most especially I want to live a life filled with thankfulness for God’s great love for us.

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.
1 Chronicles 16:34

It may seem like an exaggeration, but I don’t care.

Will you join me?

Let’s see if we can help the spirit of Thanksgiving live on all throughout the year.

blessings and peace to you…
Paula

 

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Reluctant Thankfulness

I chuckle when I see or hear the phrase, “It’s the time of year to be thankful.”

Of course we should be thankful all year-long, but with Thanksgiving around the corner our focus bends towards being thankful more than other times of the year. As Black Friday sales press in on us from every side concentrating on thankfulness brings into focus what we have more than what we have not.

cornucopia

I’m wondering, though. Does your thankfulness ever come reluctantly?

We are human and our lives are sometimes laced with circumstances where it isn’t always easy to be thankful. Our family’s festivities will be mixed with sadness as we are without a very special uncle who went to Heaven earlier this year. Maybe you face a similar situation or something even more difficult.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 The apostle Paul encourages us to

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

That’s a pretty tall order!

In fact it’s easy for me to read this and see it as impossible. How can people be happy all the time and never grumble about circumstances we are in? If I don’t always rejoice and pray or have trouble giving thanks am I outside of God’s will for my life?

Let’s look at this verse with perspective.

I believe God doesn’t ask us to be thankful for all circumstances, but as the verse says, be thankful in all circumstances.The reality is that it is difficult to be thankful for some things. God knows this. However in the midst of the difficulty we always have something worthy of thanks.

This request is much easier when we follow what precedes the instruction…pray continually. When we pray and put ourselves in God’s hands we will find a strength we didn’t know we had and joy hiding in unexpected places.

If your thankfulness comes reluctantly this year, or if you’re struggling to be thankful at all, please be encouraged and seek God’s strength to get you through. If you need some earthly encouragement please let me know. I would be honored to stand with you in prayer.

Would you have a story of thankfulness to share with us today? We would be encouraged by the experiences of others.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with love and peace, and blessings galore.
Paula

 

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Occasions

‘Tis the time of the year to celebrate occasions. Thanksgiving is just a few days away and Christmas will quickly follow. In my family we add a couple of birthdays in between as well. So much to do in preparation and anticipation, then the day comes and goes and what do we have left? Memories, both good and bad. Scrapbook worthy moments, and unfortunately often moments we wish we could do-over.

Occasions are often seen as times to look back. We remember holidays of the past, what has changed and traditions we still treasure. We remember special times spent with ones we love. These are precious memories to be held in our hearts.

rearview sunset
I’m afraid too often – especially on our birthdays (although other occasions as well) we may look back with regret for things we have done, or perhaps opportunities we feel we have missed. It’s easy to look in the rear view mirror of our lives and play the would’ve, should’ve game. And while we can learn from our past, we should never dwell there.

Truly nothing can be gained by dwelling in the past. If we settle in times gone by for too long our focus begins to change. We either long for those good times that are now just memories, or we lose momentum we’ve made in our lives moving forward from times we wish we could go back and change. In Philippians 3:12-14 the apostle Paul gives us a great example to follow.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Throughout the books Paul has written we never see him settle for less than God has for him. While he certainly may have had regrets of how he treated God’s people before he was saved by the grace of Christ’s salvation, once he accepted the forgiveness offered he only looked ahead. We read of Paul stating that he was content in his life, but we never see him stagnant. He continually looked ahead towards the ultimate prize of Heaven…and did all he could to take others along with him.

As the occasions of the next few weeks and months come our way, treasure them. Remember the good of occasions gone by and allow God to take away any regret for those that you wish had been different. Focus on making new memories for yourself and those around you.

Remember we have the opportunity to make every day and every encounter an occasion in itself. When we focus on staying in touch with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to work through us we can touch lives and change each moment into an occasion. It may not be one for the history books but may  leave an impression that makes a difference to someone else.

There is a wonderful movie called Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (created from a book by Suzanne Weyn) I leave you with my favorite quote and hope you’ll carry it with you:

Life Occasion

Blessings and peace to you on this occasion called today.
Paula

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Does It Really Matter?

How do you eat an elephant?

eat an elephantOne bite at a time.

So goes the commonly quoted encouragement to conquer big projects.

It’s clever, but somehow I rarely let it encourage me. My response was usually something like, “sure, but it will NEVER get done”.  What does one little ‘bite’ matter?

This state of mind allowed me to remain stagnant and not push myself to overcome things in my life that seemed overwhelming and more than I could handle. It wasn’t comfortable, but I couldn’t believe that some teeny tiny change could make much of a difference.

A scripture came to mind that previously I had mostly glossed over, thinking it applied in Jesus’ day but not for us today.

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
Matthew 17:20

I was convicted and realized I needed to give it a try.

Last year as I set aside the excuses and adopted the elephant-eating philosophy I completed and published my first book! You can learn more about Cherish This Christmas here: https://pauladavispeace.com/2012/11/01/exciting-announcement/

This fall I adopted this concept to living a more healthy lifestyle. Finally admitting this year to being middle-aged I thought about the future a little differently before. I realized continuing current eating habits and the mostly sedentary lifestyle I was living would lead to even more difficulty over time. Always before I had jumped into a change like this ‘all in’, believing that I had to cut out all foods that weren’t healthy for me and exercise for hours a day.

Always before I had failed. This time making small changes has me 10 pounds lighter in 4 weeks and feeling less sluggish and craving less of the fatty, high calorie foods.

Small changes really do matter.

  • If you save 25¢ a day, after a year you would have almost $100
  • Completing one chore each evening (dusting, vacuuming, laundry, etc.) leaves most weekends free of housework.
  • Spending just 20 minutes a day walking, cleaning the house or grocery shopping burns about 500 calories a week.

What elephant(s) are you facing today? Do you look at them the way I used to…does one bite really matter?

I encourage you to change that thinking!

Choose one small change to adapt this week. Then add another.

Give it time…at least a month before giving up. (this may be the toughest part!)

And be encouraged! (If you need help with encouragement, send me a note.)

blessings & peace to you…
Paula