There are a lot of wounded people in the world today. People who have been lied to, talked about behind their backs, spoken about negatively in public arenas, and who pour out their hearts to someone they think is in their corner just to have their stuggles passed from one person to the next, with their story changing or embellished from one person to the next like a game of telephone.
Unfortunately, I’m not talking about politics, your workplace or complicated family dynamics. I’m sorry to say this is about Christians. Yes, Bible believing, Jesus loving Christians – online, in our communities, maybe in your own church…dare I say, maybe in the mirror?
Why do we wound our own?
It’s perfectly normal to have differences, but when we do, are we taking our cues to resolve them from the world, or from the One who created it (and us)?? For that matter, are we taking our conflicts right to the world, or to the One who holds all wisdom???
When we have conflict with someone, do we jump to conclusions and presume they set out to anger or harm us, even when their actions may not have anything to do with us?
Philippians 2:3 tells us:
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves
There is so much noise all around us telling us that if we don’t watch out for ourselves no one else will. It seems like we are encouraged to be offended! I’m afraid we have become conditioned to quickly have an opinion about every situation, each word spoken, and not consider carefully the person’s motives or heart behind what irritates us. Scripture points us in the opposite direction.
James 1:19 encourages us:
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
How often do we have a conversation, seeking to understand with an open heart and mind before becoming upset? Sometimes if we’re honest with ourselves, we’re just upset because someone else set boundaries we wish we had the guts to set for ourselves, or we are jealous at what appears to come easily to them, and we let those emotions spill out into conversations with friends, or sometimes even online. If we actually sat down with an open mind and heart we would find they the one you are judging is struggling with insecurities too and doing the best they can to put one foot in front of the other each day.
We say we love each other (and I believe we at least want to love our brothers and sisters in Christ), but how does that love play out when we disagree with someone?
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
This is not a verse to be tucked away and pulled out during a wedding ceremony! These words are intended for all believers. We are called to protect one another, not participate in slander, or to stand by while it’s happening. Love does not dishonor others or delight in evil.
Friends, we don’t have to agree with someone to protect them from slander. We don’t have to take sides to love them with the agape love of Christ. (Trust me…I need this reminder too!)
We are called to be different, and the world is watching. Christians are supposed to on the same side of the battle – the side of Christ. When Christians harm their own, unbelievers notice, and new believers get the wrong kind of mentoring (yes, mentoring can be negative as well as positive). We tarnish the name of Christ and His message of salvation and the reconciliation He offers between us and God.
Can we focus more on loving each other and understanding someone’s true motives before judging or criticizing? Can we spend more time praying for others than gossiping about them? Maybe return to the old adage, WWJD (what would Jesus do?). Remember how Jesus interacted with those who did wrong while He was on earth – he ate with them, cast demons out of them, and cared about them apart from their sin. We should do no less for those who walk and serve beside us…or serve us!
2 Timothy 2:3-4 reminds us:
“Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.”
The world around us is getting uglier by the day, and we have got to be more vigilant to not contribute to the ugliness but be set apart for Christ. Let’s remember as Christians we are on the same side and stop wounding our own.
Paula Davis 